What started out as a fake movie trailer during the movie 'Grindhouse' (2007), is now a feature length film. Opening wide today, 'Machete' arrives just in time for a holiday weekend.
Danny Trejo plays 'Machete', a former Mexican Federale who lost everything in a double cross by an evil druglord (Steven Seagal in his first major release since 2002).
'Machete' roams a Texas border town looking for yard work to make money. Smokin' hot Luz played by smokin' hot Michelle Rodriguez is a kind roach coach operator who gives Machete food. Luz has a big heart and a big job as she runs 'the network' which helps illegals get jobs and new lives in the U.S.
Pay attention...this is complicated (but really good plot). Booth (Jeff Fahey) is a businessman who supports Senator McLaughlin (Robert De Niro). The Senator is up for re-election so anything goes to keep his office. Von, (Don Johnson) is a vigilante who watches the border for runners escaping from Mexico. The Senator is along for the ride one night and does some hunting of his own.
There is a plan afoot (isn't there always) to get the senator what he wants. Booth wants something too and needs a patsy to accomplish his evil goal.
Booth finds Machete on the street and picks him up to do a job for him. Underestimating Machete, Booth gives him a great deal of money to do this job. Machete steps into yet another double or maybe triple cross. However, this time his eyes are wide open and he's ready for anything. Good thing too because anything and everything is what happens to him.
Padr (Cheech Marin) plays Machete's brother, a priest with a mouth like a sailor, (no offense to sailors....or priests). Machete goes to him for help....FYI everyone who tries to help or hinder Machete gets his a** kicked one way or another...
Sartana (Jessica Alba) plays a U.S. federal agent trying to crack 'the network' and keep all the Mexicans were they belong...(this is the plot, not my opinion). However, Sartana has a heart and when she tries to arrest Machete he tells her 'the haps' and she gets hip to what is goin' on...(oh no...70s talk just came right out of my computer and jumped into this review because this film is right out of the 70s grindhouse movement). Allow me to translate, Sartana is noble and believes Machete, but still wants to keep him arrested. He doesn't want to stay arrested so he runs away with the promise of coming back.
Torrez (Steven Seagal) is the guy pulling the strings on Booth, he is also the guy who double crossed Machete in the first place. He's a real bad guy, a real big, bad...guy.
In between everyone running around shooting, maiming, and bleeding a subplot actually sprouts up. It is a sick one, but...there ya go. April (Lindsey Lohan) who is Booth's daughter gets herself in some trouble (type casting?) I'm not spilling the beans about the scenes with Lohan, but watch the train wreck with relish!
Machete hacks his way through most of the cast to get revenge, to get the girl, to get....an MTV movie award for best....fill in the blank.
Ok, that's basically the plot, oh...except Tom Savini does appear as Osiris Ampanpur. His job is to torture and kill.....the audience with bad acting...(damn computer). Anyway he plays a bad guy too and I'm pretty sure he did the special effects on the side to make some extra cash.
NOW, you must be thinking I hated this film. Ahhhh, contrar, I loved it. It is exactly what a grindhouse film was like. Blood flying everywhere, naked women running around, characters being shot a bazillion times with barely a whimper out of them. The only thing missing was the car, the pole with the speaker that didn't work and heavy make-out sessions. Grindhouse movies often were shown at the drive-in..get it?
It doesn't really matter what the plot is about. Many will say this is a film with hidden 'political' meanings. Are you nuts? The political meanings are hanging out everywhere, none of them are hidden...who cares? It's a great film, it's funny, it's gory and the cast is one of the best I've seen all year long. IT ROCKS!!!!!!! Leave your political beliefs in the car, enjoy the film!
Danny Trejo, who is much shorter than you would expect, is not suppose to be a great looking guy (good thing). He is suppose to be scary. He is the anti good guy. However, he is also the anti bad guy. And for some reason he comes off really sexy in this film. It is great to see him in a starring role, he pulled it off without a hitch.
Ah, Michelle Rodriguez, what can I say...Michelle gives it all she's got in every film and 'Machete' is no different.
The whole cast is good, (Lohan is a bit lack luster, but she's had a bad year), however Danny and Michelle are stand outs and make this film a special experience. Good job Robert Rodriguez, I look forward to more of your lively, who cares what anyone says, type of film making.
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